Miscellaneous

Hilarious Guide to Software and Web Developer Job Adverts

Written by Kevin Liew on 04 Mar 2016
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I found a hilarious and honest guide chart for software developer job advertisement. I'm not a software developer, but I can see this chart can be apply to web developer too!

This guide chart was first tweeted by Julien Blanchard, a software engineer from Paris, France. If you've done some job hunting before, most of the time you would stumble into job ads with these keywords - passionate, team player, agile, rockstar developer, self-starter, fast-paced environment and etc. Do you know the actual meaning of this? For example:

Sample Job Ads

We are looking for an ambitious web developer rockstar who is passionate about creating engaging, consistent and memorable experiences urgently.

In this role you will be iteratively improving our market leading product. If selected, you will be working on high traffic, responsive and accessible websites as well as enterprise, mobile applications accessed globally.

The successful developer will be someone that loves to hand-write clean, semantic, standards-compliant code, and who wants to work in a dynamic, fully agile and creative team in a fast-paced environment.

Guide to Software and Web Developer Job Advertisements

Word / PhasesActual meaning
work on cutting edge technology Do what everyone else is doing
a fast-paced-environment Your job will be constant firefighting
must be a team player Must not question authority
able to work with minimal supervision You'll be the one we blame when something goes wrong
an Agile team We have daily stand-ups
a market leader Recently started making a profit
rockstar developer You will work very long hours with impossible deadlines
we have an urgent need Our other rockstar just left and no one understands the code
dynamic environment Our leadership keeps changing priorities
self-starter We have no process
passionate Perseveres through regular death marches
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